Prague Legend #3: The Bell In The Tower Of Tyn Church

As this story goes, there was an old rich noblewoman with many servants - all of which were treated with exceeding cruelty.

One body servant in particular regularly received insults and blows for her pains. One night, the noblewoman was preparing for a social event and the servant was helping her put on her dress. At this moment, the bells of Tyn Church began to ring.

Hearing the bell, the servant stopped attending the noblewoman and knelt immediately to say a prayer as had always been her custom at home. The noblewoman became enraged and started shouting curses and beating the servant for what she took to be laziness. She beat the servant so severely, that the servant died.

Unsurprisingly, the noble woman was able to pay her way out of murder charges and thought she could go on living normally. However, every time she heard the Tyn Church bell ring, she was reminded of the murdered servant girl.

In the end, her conscience gave in and she donated all of her property to the poor, entered a convent, and had a small bell cast and hung in the tower of Tyn Church where it would ring in memory of the dead girl.

Prague Legend #2: The Twenty-Seven Beheaded Bohemian Lords

In 1618, the famous (second) defenestration of Prague is generally regarded as the main event that kicked off the cluster-you-know-what that was the Thirty Years War: an incredibly bloody and destructive series of conflicts. It was the earliest set of wars I learned about where they described the death toll in the millions. Actually, it's one of the most interesting events in European history and I've spent a lot of time over the years reading about it.

Anyhow, back to throwing people out of windows. This event kicked off the Thirty Years War - and more locally, the Bohemian Rebellion of the Estates against Emperor Ferdinand II of Austria (not Australia, auto-correct!) In the two years that followed the defenestration, there were a series of conflicts between the Bohemians and Austrians that the Bohemians eventually lost decisively at the Battle of White Mountain (Bila Hora is on my list of things to see).

After this battle, Bohemia was greatly reduced politically from a kingdom to a client state of Austria. In 1621, the Bohemian lords responsible for the political, financial, and military backing of the Rebellion of the Estates were rounded up and beheaded in Prague at the Old Town Center. It was a long and bloody affair that lasted from five in the morning until one in the afternoon on June 21st, 1621.

These Bohemian lords are regarded as heroes and martyrs, having fought for freedom of religion, the rights of Bohemians, and maintaining the rule of the kingdom within Bohemia.

The plaza commemorates them with 27 crosses on the ground and a message.

According to the legend, the ghosts of the twenty-seven lords return to this place each year on June 21st and gather at the Astronomical clock. If the clock is working, it signifies the land is prospering. If the clock is not working, they return to their eternal resting places sad and dejected.

Prague Legend #1: The Old Town Astronomical Clock

As this legend of Prague goes, Master Hanus of Ruze altered and perfected the astronomical clock in Old Town Square 3 that was made around 1410.

It was so magnificent and beautiful, that it defied belief and was an instant source of pride to the people of Prague and its rulers.

The town council, intent on preserving the clock, the secrets of its construction, and the creation of another like it - or better, decided to blind Master Hanus.

In his sorrow and inability to improve the clock, or make others like it, Master Hanus asked to visit the clock in his blinded state to feel it's contours and enjoy it once more.

When he arrived at the clock, he reached inside and felt for a particular mechanism and tore it out - rendering the clock non-functional. At that moment his heart surrendered and he collapsed there, dead.

For many years, the clock was non-functional until a master craftsman was able to make the repair. Over the years the clock was silent, it was a reminder to the town councilors of their terrible deed.

Prague Museum Of Torture... Or, I Know Some Guys That Would Be Into This

I recently visited the Prague Museum of Torture. A bit commercialized... Nonetheless, I saw some fantastic things and expanded my imagination of what constitutes torture.

There were so many maiming implements. A tool for every purpose!

This one above is exactly what you think it is - a male chastity belt.

I know more than a few people who deserve the comfort of this chair.

These masks were utilized for shaming. If persons broke the law, committed slander or libel, or just disagreed with the ruling administration, they had to wear this comfy mask around town. All the rage!

This was interesting - an executioner's block that had, at one time, actually been used in executions.

A bit macabre, but exactly what I wanted today. All in all, a pleasant diversion from the norm.

Kolaches, But Not The Texas Way

Last night was cold and I was feeling sick. Flu, head cold, something... It's still there actually. Paris left me with a gift.

I was talking to a Czech friend, Jirka, who offered to come over and make kolaches with me. Back in central Texas, we have kolaches - but not like they make here in Czech Republic. So it sounded like a fun idea, and we baked away - all the while watching the Czech version of Maleficent.

I understood a few words... "Hello", "Goodbye", and "Thank You".

That said, I think the kolaches turned out alright... The recipe called for a lot of dough and not a lot of fruit. I kind of prefer the ratio of dough/fruit the way it is in Austin... A lot of fruit and a little dough.

In any case, they tasted alright!

The Good, The Bad, And The Pretty

After my separation at the end of last year, I've been dating a bit and making my way back out in the world. For those of you that don't know... I'm bisexual. And since I've been in Prague, I've gone out with guys and girls. Generally though, my greater happiness lies with guys.

There are definitely things I like and don't like about the dating scene here - as you can probably imagine.

I'm just going to say that the dating apps are a forgone conclusion when it comes to gay/bi expats... especially when there are language barriers. Merits of the dating apps aside for a moment, they do provide a snapshot of the available market and give a sense of what the people physically look like and what they're looking for from someone else.

In Prague... The gay guys are pretty and standards are high.

(Actual photo of a Czech guy that I met for a drink, pretty representative of a lot of guys here.)

Luckily, I look decent enough to get dates - but that's not the concern. The issue is the culture those standards can sometimes foster. Sometimes - often times, I find myself hating elitist types.

The other challenge when talking to guys on dating apps in Prague is that this might be the first picture you receive...

(Actual photo I received... No "hello"... in fact, no words!)

It's a seriously fetish culture here. I'm not going to get into my boudoir habits, but I'm pretty vanilla compared to most people here. 

For those of you that don't know much about Prague and the sexual culture here, Prague is hands down the capital of porn in Europe. Maybe other things, too. I've met lots of models and actors at the bars now. Reminds me a bit of being back in LA.

Anyway, I'm not sure where this was going other than the uncertainty of not really being hungry for what Prague is serving when it comes to elitists and fetishists. I've made some friends here (that are good looking!) that have told me stories about getting quick rejections because they don't have a six pack. Yeah...

All that said, a classic 'dinner and a movie' date would be amazing.

Prague Has A Zoo?

Not just any zoo, but the best zoo I've ever seen in my life. All the animals I'd expect, and many I didn't, were represented here in a very animal-conscious way. It also helped that it was a beautiful day and everything was clearly visible.

It really was a perfect day. I just happened to be able to spend it with my best friend from Malta - Rainer Borg.

And my favorite creature in the animal kingdom is, without a doubt, the tiger.

Prague... My Very Own 'Leap From The Lion's Head'

Recently, I made a big decision to work... and live... in Prague.

For those of us keeping score, that's in central Europe - Czech Republic. NOT Czechoslovakia, mom. Unless you managed to wander into Narnia and it still exists there.

It really is beautiful here. That's not just some shameless plug. There's an amazing combination of gothic and renaissance era architecture literally everywhere that instantly transports you.

When I arrived, Day One, I was told that when I enter any shops or restaurants I must say "Dobry Den" - the Czech equivalent of "Good Day" - to the first host(ess) I see. If I didn't, the customer service repercussions would be severe. Let me tell you, they were right.